When to Send out Save-the-Dates and Invitations

As a wedding planner, I get asked these 3 questions A Lot: When should I send my save-the-dates and invitations out? And what is the difference between them? And do I really need save-the dates?

I am here to answer these questions and tell you here exactly what I tell my clients to do.

1) When should I send my save-the-dates and invitations out?

This, of course, depends on how long it is from the time your fiance proposes and your wedding date. But typically most couples follow a one year wedding planning timeline and I recommend sending save-the-dates out at the 6 month mark. You want to give your guests a generous heads up so that they can put you down on their social calendars first! (Especially if your wedding date is during a peak wedding season in your area. Looking at You Fall and Spring brides in the South!). If you are going to be on a shortened planning timeline Then send them as soon as you have the date nailed down. Now, if you are planning a wedding in like 3 months or less just skip the save-the dates altogether. I know Covid-19 has some brides wondering if they should still send save-the-dates or not, and I say Yes! Your guests still need that heads up even if your date ends up having to change. There's no way of knowing that until it gets closer to time, so you need to just plan like it is going to happen on your date.

Now, as far as invitations are concerned, I always have my brides send these out at the 3 month to go mark, with he RSVP deadline date being 1 month before the wedding. This gives your guests 2 months to make their plans and send in their response. I will say I am advising my Fall 2020 brides to send their invitations out 2 months prior to the wedding instead of 3 months. I just think with the state our world has been in the last few months it is best to wait a little closer to the wedding date to send out the formal invitation. Things change daily with the rules and regulations concerning this crazy pandemic so adjustments still may have to be made to your guest count or even date. But like I tell my brides...cross that bridge when you get there and keep planning like normal for now. (Do go ahead and make a Plan B guest list that has max 50 people including you the couple, your families, and vendors for just in case.)

2)What is the difference between Save-the-Dates and Invitations?

You hear a lot of stationary related terminology when you start wedding planning and it can be a little confusing if you aren't familiar with the lingo. So, I'm here to break down the difference between these two important but different stationary items.

Save-the-Dates are a single card announcement that you and your fiance are engaged to be married and have set an official date for your wedding day. They can be one-sided or two-sided and can come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and paper/material types (even cute refrigerator magnets!) A lot of couples use the save-the-date as a way to show off a favorite engagement photo and I'm always in favor of that idea.As to what you should include on your save-the-date, obviously the date first and foremost. Do make sure this is your firm date before sending these out (barring any Corona reschedules). Also, make sure to include the city and state your wedding will be in and then your wedding website link ( Head here to read why you need a wedding website!). That's all you need on the save-to-date, then just have a line that says "Formal Invitation to Follow" to let guests know there will be more information to come.

Invitations are typically more formal and can include multiple cards and envelopes. The main invitation card will have the date, time, and location of your ceremony, and will cordially invite your guests to attend. Some brides choose to include a dress code on the invitation as well.

You will also have an RSVP card which will let guests respond to the invitation by a certain date and mail back to you (you should include a pre-addressed and stamped envelope for your guests convenience). You may also choose to include separate enclosure cards with extra details about your hotel blocks for guest accommodations, directions to the location(s), transportation details, etc. And I would again include a link to your website somewhere in the invitation suite. This will be super helpful for alerting guests of any changes in plans. All of the pieces of a formal invitation suite are then placed into an inner envelope that lists the names of each individual you are inviting with that invitation. Then you place the inner envelope into the outer mailing envelope where the invitation is addressed to the heads of the household.

3)Do I really need Save-the-Dates?

Short answer is yes! It is polite to give your guests as much advanced notice as possible. Being a wedding guest comes with a price tag. Your guests will often be purchasing an outfit to wear to your big day, ladies will be getting their nails done, they will be bringing you a lovely wedding gift, possibly paying a babysitter if kids aren't invited to your wedding or they just want a kids-free date night out, and then the potential travel and lodging expenses if they are out of town. Just like you have to make plans for your big day, so do your guests. Save-the-Dates are especially important if you are having a destination wedding, or a large amount of your guests are out of state and will be making significant travel plans (airfare and hotels).

Also, as mentioned before your wedding will be competing for a spot on each of your guests' social calendars. Your wedding will likely not be the only one your guests will be invited to that season, so you want to beat everyone else to it so that your wedding can be the prior engagement. Lastly, it is such a good place to share the wedding website (again as mentioned before). Guests can go ahead and see accommodations and travel arrangements before they even get their formal invitation and start making plans. They can also go ahead and be eyeing your registry and deciding what gift they want to bring to your showers or on wedding day.

The few instances I would recommend cutting save-the dates would be if you are planning in a short amount of time, you are having an intimate wedding or elopement and all of your guests kinda already know when it will be, or if budget is just really tight and you choose to go more digital to cut costs.

If you need more information about wedding stationary or wedding planning in general I would love to chat with you! Send me an email at sarahsullinsweddings@gmail.com or submit my contact form here if you are ready to have a professional walk you through this wedding planning journey!